Stop Divorce

Author: Paul Friedman

It is my passion and my mission to stop divorce. It is destroying my country and eroding my family tree. It has undermined my community and impacted my children. It has defined the society within which I live in terms that are an embarrassment. I see people who give up on the spiritual values and moral standards that are foundational for a successful society. My friends and neighbors have learned to rationalize, as have I.

I Believe in God

It isn't my way to push religion on others nor do I believe that my way of seeing and worshiping God is the only way; contrarily I respect and admire all beliefs and religions. But I am openly angry with the Godless religion called Freudian psychology. Followers of this religion have provided myriad excuses for abandoning children and soul mates instead of admitting to the great flaw of their philosophy. They have refused to acknowledge the spiritual core of humanity and in so doing have denied themselves serious study and understanding of marriage, which was invented by, and is a gift from God.

How Can You Fix Something When You Deny One Third of it Even Exists?

Over 95% of the people in our country openly express belief in a Supreme Being. I do not know the statistics, but I am sure a huge percentage of those people (including me) believe that a man (or woman) is essentially a soul, is essentially spiritual. If we think about it the sensible conclusion is that we are souls who have bodies and minds.

Most of us know that prayer is the most powerful force in the universe, yet how often have you heard of a Freudian psychologist who suggested prayer as part of their therapy? Well, I suggest prayer. God made the universe in a very mathematical and practical way. He made it understandable so we could enjoy his creation. But when we turn our lives over to individuals who have no idea what they're doing (would you bring your car to an auto repairman who had a 6% success rate?) we only have ourselves to blame.

We can stop divorce and we have to stop our own divorce first. It is not only possible, it is simple fast and inexpensive when you know how. Don't give up. Don't become a statistic. Don't lose the best friend you have ever had because of a few tiny problems.

I have written Lessons For A Happy Marriage to help people with troubled marriages remain together by teaching them how to have a joyous marriage. The greatest incentive for me to create the lessons was the suffering I saw among our children. The divorce problem goes even further beyond the immediate impacts. I have made it my life's mission in the second part of my life to eradicate the need for divorce through education. I will do everything I can to combat the causes of divorce at every level I become aware of. If you are currently married, please tell your spouse, "I love you."

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/stop-divorce-757357.html

About the Author

I wrote Lessons For A Happy Marriage to help people save their troubled marriage and end the marriage crisis in our country; it's about saving children. Let's stop divorce. The problems go beyond the failures of marriage counselors. My life's mission is to eradicate the need for divorce through focused education. If you're married, tell your soul mate, "I love you."

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Why should you get your wife back? You have made a commitment before God and all the family members and friends to stay with her forever until death parts you. As a responsible and attached husband, it is your responsibility to get your wife back. She might have left you quoting 101 reasons for leaving as she went, but there can be just one motive for you to get her back: that you are a die-hard husband and you love her so much.

Do you know why should you wait to get you wife back? Make a decision now that you will be getting her back by all means. Think of all the ways to impress her, as you try to transform her mind about having left you. Keep in mind, she may be very irritated or angry initially, and she might refuse to go back with you outright. However, keep knocking at her door; keep sharing with her the kind of emotional distress you are finding without her existence in your life. Eventually, her heart will melt and let you float back in. Be positive!

Preparing to get your wife back?

You cannot just barge into her new life and ask her to leave right away. She demands time and space to take stock of her life and think back to when the relationship worked. Arrange one- to- one talk, if feasible, and frankly share about what went wrong and where. She will definitely start thinking and pondering on the things you mention. Allow her to take her own time, but guarantee her that the doors will always be open for her to walk back in.

Keep in touch to assure her that you love her and will always be thinking of her. Try to recollect cheerful moments and ask her to give you another chance to turn out your love. Most breakups happen as a result of monotony in life or lost enthusiasm or interest. So make sure to bring back the romantic days to win your wife back. Have you been frightened of facing the bare reality and avoiding an argument with your wife? Then it is high time to change your way of thinking and attitude.

You cannot step away or make some facts invisible. They will bug you all your life. Face reality and, in case your wife wants to shout or fight over some fault of yours, keep silent and accept what she has to say. Be willing to always forgive and forget. Ego clashes has to be avoided in a relationship- – particularly if you want to win your wife back! How to win your wife back may be a question that is bugging you. Start preparing a get- together sincerely, and you will be surprised at how easy it could be to get your wife back.

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Step 1:

Don’t take anything your Ex ever said or did personally, because nothing your Ex ever said or did was about you. Even if your Ex downright blames you for everything that went wrong in your relationship, realize their statement is only coming from who they are, which has absolutely nothing to do with the person you are.

Step 2:

However, not taking your Ex personally is a two sided coin. If during the heat of an argument you react and tell your Ex what an idiot THEY are, and how everything is THEIR fault, then it has nothing to do with them. Your statements only reflect the kind of person you are, which is a person who likes to blame and judge. This has nothing to do with your Ex. Therefore, consciously make an effort to be the person you are, regardless of how your Ex is behaving. Make a list of all the qualities you admire in others, for example: kindness, confidence, compassion, and respect. Chances are you already possess the qualities within yourself. Be very careful not to make statements that don’t reflect who you are, even when you may be tempted to give into the hurt and anger you feel.

Step 3

Release your judgments and opinions by becoming friends with Death. As morbid as this sounds, realize that in 100 years, you and your Ex will likely be dead, and nothing you ever fought about will be remembered. If your Ex has the obsessive need to be right and argue with you about everything, give in to their whim and say, “You are absolutely right.” Not only will this reinforce your relationship with Death and save you a tremendous amount of personal power, your Ex will find it impossible to argue with you because you are giving the non-verbal message that it really doesn’t matter. As one my favorite authors Wayne Dyer once said, “Have you ever noticed how hard it is to argue with someone who isn’t obsessed with being right?”

Step 4:

If the hurt and anger is overwhelming, distance yourself from your Ex completely. And no matter what, get on your knees and pray for your Ex every morning. Pray that your Ex will be granted all of the health, wealth and happiness you wish for yourself. Even if you are not a religious person, or you don’t believe in God, the act itself is liberating.

In twelve step programs, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, they are taught to pray for people they have a deep resentment towards. At first, you will not mean a word of the prayer. But if you say the prayer consistently for two weeks, you will come to genuinely mean it, and find that there is a part of you that realizes your Ex is just a human being, with their own imperfections, weaknesses and short comings. If you go deeper, you will realize your Ex may also be a very hurt and scared person – even if they outwardly seem very hostile, aggressive and manipulative. Of course, no matter what happened to your Ex in their childhood or even in their day to day life – it does not give them a reason to mistreat you. But by being aware of the fact that your Ex has a certain set of issues to deal with on their own time, it will help you replace the hurt and anger you feel with compassion and understanding.

Step 5:

Own your personal power. Because when you are who you are, regardless of the situation or circumstance that comes your way, then this transforms you into a very powerful person. This is the step that absolutely baffles your Ex, because by you being who you are, and not letting them get you down – it sends your Ex the non-verbal message that you are who you are and they are who they are. But most importantly, it tells your Ex that you are not going to take any of their crap! When you respond to your Ex’s hostility with kindness, and your Ex’s blame with compassion, it frustrates them to no end, because your Ex cannot get you to play their game.

Step 6:

Come to understand that you are doing all of this work for no other reason than to realize who you are, restore your sense of balance, and reclaim your personal power. If you do all of this work in order to manipulate your Ex, and make them want you back, your Ex will subconsciously sense your intentions, because at one point or another, you will slip and let your intentions be known without realizing it. When this happens, you will give all of your power back to your Ex, and will have to start all over again with Step 1.

Step 6 is often tricky, because if you master each step up to this point, your Ex may very well want to reconcile. At the very least, your Ex will begin responding to the kindness you send their way in a positive fashion. But regardless if you want to get back together with your Ex, just be friends, or just get over the obsessive thinking – remember your sole purpose is to realize who you are, restore your sense of balance, and reclaim your personal power. If you do all of this work just to manipulate your Ex into responding the way you want them to, it may work for a very short period of time. But I guarantee your Ex will pick up on the fact that your intentions are not genuine, and you will lose your personal power. Not only that, but when you genuinely become who you are, you attract the right kind of people to your life. And maybe your Ex is not the person you are meant to be with! And the only way you will know if you are meant to be with your Ex or anyone else is if you are genuinely who you are.

Step 7:

Forgive your Ex, no matter what they did or didn’t do. Unfortunately, it may not be enough at this point to say, “I forgive my ex.” And leave it at that. Forgiveness has little to do with words, and more to do with action. Before proceeding with this step, I recommend reading up on the topic of forgiveness, and reading heroic stories about the power of forgiveness. I once read a story about a woman whose daughter was brutally raped and murdered by a man that was eventually caught and sent to prison. As anyone can imagine, the woman spent years of her life in rage and obsession over what this man had done to her daughter. I am sure there are no words to express how much pain this woman was feeling. However, she somehow stumbled on a book entitled, The Course of Miracles and began reading about what the power of forgiveness could do for her. She started to pray for the man, and eventually sent him a letter, letting him know she had forgiven him for the actions he took against her daughter, even though she didn’t condone his behavior. To make a long story short, the man wrote the woman back and apologized profusely. The woman felt compelled to see this young man in prison, and she held him as he cried during their first visit. To make a long story short, they became friends, and she became his number one advocate in attempts to release him from prison.

There are not a lot of people walking on the planet as courageous as this woman, but it is an extreme example of what is possible within each one of us. I thought about this woman before I reached out to my Ex with forgiveness in my heart. I sent a gift to my Ex and the woman my Ex left me for, which seemed to pale in comparison to this woman’s story. Of course, it took me a little over a year to reach that point, and a lot of soul searching. To this day, I love my Ex with all of my heart on a platonic level. We live in two totally different cities, but still call and send each other emails on occasion as good friends.

I am also in a healthy relationship with someone I am deeply in love with. Next week will be our two year anniversary. I do not think I would be as happy and as deeply in love with this new person as I am now, had I not let go of the anger, bitterness, and resentment I once felt towards my Ex, which is another reason why forgiveness is so important.

A lot of people believe turning off your feelings for a person you once were in a romantic relationship with, or even hating them is a way to show that they are “over” the person. But I believe the exact opposite is true. When you are completely “over” a person, you really wish them nothing but the best – and you are totally detached emotionally from how they act or react. Another point to consider is the fact that love isn’t real unless you loved your Ex for the person they are, not the person you wanted them to be. And just because the romantic relationship didn’t work out, doesn’t mean your Ex isn’t a lovable person.

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Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/how-to-get-over-your-ex-20231.html

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